Yesterday was an epic day in the name of poop. I showed up to work really early (little did I realize that this would save my life) and had to burn some time. I went to McDonald's and bought a Big Mac and finished it, then I started to walk to Circuit City and talk to my girlfriend on the phone. I got there and it was still early so I walked around...then a sound of thunder...I realized that I had to use the restroom, pretty badly. I started work @ 5:00 pm and got out @ 9:00 pm so I kinda had to go somewhere since I couldn't hold it for that long, long story short I decided to go at Circuit City.
I went into the handicap stall and inspected it, it seemed halfway decent so I put two seat protectors and pulled down my pants as far as they can go so they wouldn't touch the floor (about to my knees ha ha) and I sat down...and knocked the seat protectors into the toilet...I decided it was too late and started to go...man this is bad...haha well little did I know since I knocked the protectors into the toilet my...waste would land on the protector and not even touch the water so the smell was unbearable haha. This poop seemed like it took an hour and it was great I flushed and got the hell outta there,it was done...until the ride home...
After work I rode the bus home and everything was well, we made it to the local transit center and we stopped to pick a few people up before I'm finally home. I am sitting at the front and an old man gets on the bus, he walks past me and then sits down...everything normal. Then all of a sudden I started smelling something aweful, it was bad so bad I wanted to vommit. I thought maybe the smell was comming from outside so I tried to ignore it until they closed the bus doors. The old man came back bent over and started talking to the bus driver, the smell came back and was stronger than ever...like level 70 elite. I looked at the old man and saw he had wet stains on his left leg...they went downward...I followed...and was mortified. The old man had some shit on the side of his shoe, it was yellowish and smelled horrible...he shat himself. He talked to the bus driver forever and I had to move to the back of the bus because the smell was so overpowering. He finally gets the fuck off and walks over to a planner. When we start driving I notice hes jiggling something around his zipper...it clicks...he's jiggling his johnson...old man penis...
When we ride around the roundabout I notice there is a whole puddle of piss where he was so he took a wizz right there in public...man what did I do to deserve all of this?
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