Slowdown

Everything seems to be slowing down for me, so slow it seems to be going backwards. Everything you want to move foward seems like it goes backwards if not at a standstill, I don't know which is better? Something moving backwards or standing still? I think they go hand in hand one leading to another, at least that's how it seems for now. Something is always going on and it may be my fault but I feel the consequences, so I can't be doing it on purpose....can I?